An Odd Response To Stimulus

Have you ever found yourself in the path of a massive clusterfuck situation, and instead of wanting to get out of the way like a normal human being would, you instead find yourself wishing you or your superiors could find a way for you to be of some use in fixing/alleviating the problem? Even if that means you WILL most DEFINITELY get splashed by the shit tsunami bearing down on you?

This adulthood thing is just bizarre to me.

Emotional Judo

So, how does one convert an aggressive fight-picking in-your-face far-right-wing Republican fundagelical young earth creationist who constantly accuses you of "getting angry" when you've got him backed into a corner he can't weasel out of into an guilt-ridden constantly-apologizing milquetoast who can't quite believe you're not mad at him?

Simple. Tell him he's right.

Tell him that he's right and that you are "getting angry" and obviously can't have a decent conversation about "crazy wackaloon topic of the moment" without yelling, so you're just going to have to avoid that topic from now on.

It's amazing how often calling their bluff works. The man I used this tactic against Sunday night is still freaking out that I won't discuss politics with him until the election is over.

Why did this work, you ask? Also simple. He was cheating, of course. This man regularly comes to me and starts arguments, which I usually indulge him in for various reasons (mostly because I enjoy a good philosophical scrap). But when the topic gets a little too close to something he can't argue his way out of, he either switches topics mid-stream or else accuses me of being too aggressive. In fact, he constantly accuses me of being angry at him for one thing or another, and quite frankly, I'm sick to death of it. So I've decided not to be his enabler any more.

Why bother posting this? Well, it seems to me that there's a deeper lesson here. By arguing with him, I give tacit acceptance of his positions. If I dignify his ramble of the moment with a response, it makes him feel as if he's said something that's probably clever and definitely important. He's usually wrong on both counts.

I will give him his props, though. He did score a good point about Sarah Palin on me the other day. Well, he said something I hadn't thought about, at least. And I gave him his due on that point. But I've decided to treat him just like any other wackaloon fundagelical that wants to debate a science-minded person, be it on a stage in front of hundreds or in a hallway at two AM because he's bored. I'm going to ignore him.

Attributes

I have yet another trainee/partner at work. This one's my age, has a compatible sense of humor and is from West Virginia. He and I have been having a good ol' time driving our third partner up the wall by being mildly outrageous. At least to us West Virginia boys, it's mild. I'm not sure what her southern sensibilities think of it all.

But here's something that's a little odd. I don't know if he's just trying to make friends with me (done, in my estimation), he's just like this (odd, if so) or trying to butter me up (useless, but good for my ego), but he told me the other day that I have a good voice for giving orders.

That needs a little backstory, I guess. You see, I've had some bad experiences over the years with telling my less experienced partners to do something. Part of it is on them, I suppose, but I take a lot of responsibility on myself. I just sound pushy, I think. Anywho, recently, I've tried to cultivate a more subtle, laid-back approach. Needless to say, this is NOT something that comes easily to me. Essentially, I tell my newbs ... er ... less experienced co-workers that there's something that needs done, and if they have the time, it would be a good thing to work on. If not, that's fine, we'll get to it later. Etc. etc. etc. It seems to work well with a certain type of person, and right now, I'm working with two of them. It has the advantage of not SOUNDING like an order, and leaving things open-ended in case they're busier than I thought they were. For some reason, newbs have a hard time telling me that they've got work stacked to ceiling and I'm blind not to see it. I don't know why.

Anyway, my newest partner said that I have a good voice for giving orders. I just grunted and said something non-committal. I didn't want to seem rude, since he was probably trying to give me a compliment. But see, here's the thing. Having the voice to give orders isn't anywhere near as important as having the wisdom necessary to give GOOD orders. And that's something I don't think I have.

Not yet.

Maybe never.

We'll see, I suppose.