While on Thanksgiving vacation at my outlaws, ummm, I mean inlaws, I awoke earlier than my wife. Since I don't usually have a lot of time to actually watch my wife sleep, I took the opportunity to watch her snooze. As she started to stir, I started to rub my hand over her back, her side, her leg, not really in a sexy-sexy way, but just touching her because I love to touch her. As she rolled over onto her back, I started rubbing my hand over her stomach, flirting my fingers up under the halter top she'd slept in the night before.
My wife's response to this was to immediately slap my hand away and sit bolt-upright in bed. Why, you ask, did she do this if I wasn't actually trying anything hanky-panky-ish? I must have had a look that asked the same thing, because she immediately told me.
She had been dreaming. Dreaming that I was twisting her nipple in an effort to turn off the light.
That's right, folks. My wife slapped my hand because she thought, in her dream-fogged way, that I had been trying to use one of her naughty bits, which I had not even touched, as a nipple light switch.
Welcome to my world.