Kids, here's some advice from ol' Pappy Coralius. If you want to commit suicide by hanging, especially outside, wait until after Halloween. And if it just can't wait that long, figure out some other way to go, okay?
Vimes had never got on with any game much more complex than darts. Chess in particular had always annoyed him. It was the dumb way the pawns went off and slaughtered their fellow pawns while the kings lounged about doing nothing that always got to him; if only the pawns united, maybe talked the rooks around, the whole board could've been a republic in a dozen moves. -- Terry Pratchett, Thud!
"Loyalty to petrified opinion never broke a chain or freed a human soul..." -- Mark Twain